Commitment: A Nursery Rhyme

My younger sister (13) has recently expressed interest in living with me in a few years, so that she may attend college in Boston. I ask her what she would like to go to school for.

"Astronomy," she replies.

"Nice." I state.

I then proceed to tell her about what options this area would present her in this field.

"You should go to UMass first, and get your Undergrad done. Then maybe attend Harvard for an MBA in Science/Astronomy."

Long pause on my sister's end proceeds. I guess we can have that conversation later…

Uh Oh…this has prompted "research" time.

I then read an article about the validity of a college education in our struggling economy, and how it's being used as a tool for evaluating the commitment of prospective buyers, employees, and people seeking loans. Heck, I've been asked my degree of education when applying for an apartment.

Yes, seriously.

Truthfully, I've always wondered why so much emphasis is placed on the college education. At face value, a college education just represents a continuation of education. I realize that as a society, we are collectively stupid, and all need more education. But, what does a college education offer that experience doesn't? What does it represent to them? Status?

I involved an employer in this discussion. Their response:

"It represents a level of responsibility and commitment."

Really? How so?

"The initiative has been taken to obtain and finish a higher level of communication. That is not an easy task. This gives us a pretty good indication that the prospect will be better equipped to handle difficult situations."

Interesting…

I guess a college education seems to have the ability to affect every genre of our lives. I mean, we all search for a defined level of responsibility and commitment in others, whether it's our presidential candidates, or our prospective partners – we want to know that we can trust someone to be there.

That said, I couldn't help but associate a college education with a relationship.

Nothing is more unattractive than a person who is not willing to commit… to anything. These people are constantly looking for a reason to live and blaming the world for their lack of options. I realize that we cannot blame the lack of a college education for this, but it seems that we can associate a higher education to their ability to stay in a committed relationship.

For example take this old nursery rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill went tumbling after.

After surviving this hardship, Jack and Jill got back on their feet and finished their final year at college. They are still together and happy. They own a successful business of fetching pails of water. Revenue is up %15 from last quarter. In a few more months, Jack and Jill will be able to hire employees to do their job, and will then pursue their year long world travelling excursion before having children.

I bet Jill will get pregnant in Paris. It's really romantic there.

…

Now let's change it up:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill went down the other side of the hill because she didn't want to deal with Jack's newfound hardship and chose to pursue 'other options'.
…

Shortly after the fall, Jack met a nice girl by the name of Megan. She was working at a local Starbucks while finishing her degree in Business Management. Megan served Jack a Chai Latte… he asked for her number. 5 years later, Jack and Megan are happily married and living in San Diego. Jack has moved on from fetching pails of water. He now works as a Sr. Architect in a new firm that designs hills that people cannot fall down. Megan is Sr. Marketing Manager for Starbucks: The Southwest Territory.

Jill, on the other hand, skipped around community college for a few years and ended up not receiving a degree. She has plowed through about 10 meaningless jobs (I lost count after that cashier position at Best Buy that lasted about 3 weeks) and is still be single and wondering how she will be able to afford cat food for Zipper, Kitty Kitty, Camper, and Jack. Jill blames the Government for all of her hardships. She also blames Chemistry.com and Craigslist for not supplying her with enough 'candidates' for dating. Jill also has decided that she will not be voting in the next election… after all, what does she have to vote for?

The end.

…

Now, I know what you're thinking: this is far fetched. But, is it??? And I also know that there are exceptions to every situation. But, what if a college education was the ultimate cure for things like ADHD and Depression? You'd be forced to use your blood, sweat and tears to make it through hardships (instead of medication – except in special situations, I know.), thus preparing you for all aspects of life.

And answer me this: if obtaining a college education kept a person just one more step further from a life of isolation, depression and constant feelings of defeat, then wouldn't you push for it?

What if it meant a smarter society in general?

I'd be happy just to hear one less "I'm a victim" story, truthfully.

If you're saying it's too expensive… then eff you. I see you spending $100+ dollars for jeans and weed. You're pathetic.

Sorry.

I will share the aforementioned with my sister in our next college education discussion, if for no other reason, that to help prevent her from growing up and saying things like "I have nothing to vote for."

Class before Ass: A 12 Step Program

I would like to start this blog off by dedicating it to my dear friend Hannah, the classiest broad I know.
(mantra: class before ass....class...before...ass...)

Becoming a classy person has turned into a 12 Step program for me. It's quite hard. If I could have it my way, I would rank it in the "top 5 hardest things to do" list. Yup, right up there with quitting a smoking/heroin addiction and/or alcoholism. So, let's try this:

Rule #1: Class before Ass...always
Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for not getting a phone call the day after 'ahem', or nowadays, even an email. We've all been there. When are we going to learn? How do we stop this behavior?


Easy: Don't f*#k them. Be 'that girl'... the one that says 'no'. Trust me, they will not forget that kind of rejection. The calls will come in fierce force, seeing that you have now become their greatest challenge (and in their mind, a possible victory).


Not to mention, you will be able to say that you skipped out on yet another random night of meaningless, bad, drunk sex.

Ex: Dick and Jane
Dick: Hey, you're cool. Wanna f*&k?
Jane: No, but thanks for the invite.
Dick: What? I've fu*&ed every girl at this bar!
Jane: Good for you.
Dick: You don't want to f*&k me?
Jane: No, I don't. But really, thanks for the offer.
*Get up and walk away Jane....
Dick: (Fumbling) Can I call you?
Jane: I'm sure our paths will cross again sometime, Dick.
Dick: Ummm...wait....
Jane: Have a good nite Dick. It was great meeting you.

Congratulations, you just walked away from a potentially "self respect" threatening sitation. Your reward is that you've escaped negative gossip, and the fear of forgetting to ask about any sexually contraced diseases that he may have. Priceless.



Rule #2: Chew your words before swallowing
I choose not to say 'put your foot in your mouth', because that would contradict "Rule # 5 Clean Hands + Clean Feet". Just remember, the things that you choose not to say are more important than the things you do choose to say, in every situation. And on that note, consider the things you say about other people before actually saying them. Would you want them said about you? Are they respectable and admirable commments and/or suggestions?

Ex: Dick and Jane
Dick: I don't like Jack.
Jane: Why not?
Dick: Because he wears those stupid checkered shoes with holes in them, everyday!
Jane: That's a silly thing to not like about someone.
Dick: Do you like Jack?
Jane: I think he's a great artist, and I love to see his artwork.

Good job Jane. Even though we all know that you are not particularly fond of Jack's checkered shoes, you choose to direct the conversation towards Jack's positive traits. He is a good artist, and someday will make so much money, that he'll open a museum just for his checkered shoes. And we both know, Dick will go.

Rule #3: There is a positive in every situation
There truly is a positive in every situation, and you should make it your goal to find it. vWith this said, lest not forget that there is also a negative to every situation. You just choose not to focus on them.


Rule #4: Do you Spit or Swallow?
Either way, a classy woman wouldn't mention this. Shame on you.


Rule #5: Clean Hands + Clean Feet.
You'd be surprised of the effort it takes to keep your hands and feet clean.
Intuition, awareness, and a keene and recongnizable state of alert. The reward is great though. Amidst this effort you avoid; interacting with the bitter and unworthy, stepping on the wrong path and/or in the way, and unwillingly feeling the need to stick your foot in your mouth.

Ex: Dick and Jane
Dick: Hey Jane, did you hear about Jim and Carol last night???
Jane: No
Dick: Jim gave Carol some blow and then they went back to his place and has sex!
Jane: OK. (no emotion Jane...no emotion.)
Dick: Yeah, I heard it from Dave this morning.
Jane: (No response)
Dick: (Puzzled)Don't you even care?
Jane: No.
Dick: Why not?
Jane: It's gossip, and, on top of that, nobody's business but Jim and Carols.


Good job Jane. You've avoided being linked to any negative rhettorical commenting that may get back to Jim and Carol by "stepping" away from the situation.

And by the way, your feet are so clean and pretty...


Rule #6: Shameless Self Promotion is not an option.
With class comes personality, confidence, and more than likely, a strong following. vNo need to make other people aware of your 'greatness'. In fact, this has been known to be a strong repellent, and shows a great lack of self respect.

Ex: Dick and Jane
Dick: Are you going to come see my new band this weekend?
Jane: I'm not sure. What do you guys sound like?
Dick: We are the best!
Jane: What do you sound like though?
Dick: Last week, this huge label rep. was at our show, and we heard that they were going to sign up this year.
Jane: That's cool. What kind of music do you play?
Dick: And I just bought this new guitar, and it cost me sooo much money. But it's definitely a better guitar than Jim's.
Jane: (defeated) Hey, maybe I'll see you there.

Jane obviously isn't going.

Jane was actually interested in Dick's band. But, Dick didn't answer any of her questions in regards to the type of music they played, and chose to promote his band in ways that were less interesting to Jane. Maybe to someone else, but not Jane (Dick needs to take a class on marketing at his local community college.). No kudos for Dick. If he would have answered Jane's question in the first place, that would have been an extra $5 in his pocket from her cover charge.

Rule #7: Your Friends are a Reflection of You.
Choose wisely, my dear.

Rule #8: Don't rely on the "Grass always being greener."
The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and you shouldn't be worried about their grass in the first place. If you spent less time admiring others' grass, and more time focusing on yours, you might someday end up with your own admirable lawn. Maybe even some flowers and shrubs. You'll never find out though staring in every other direction but at your own.

Rule #9: Creativity is your most utilized outlet...Gossip is not.
Go take a watercolor class at the local community college and learn something useful, and by useful, I do not mean the proper spelling of the names of Angelina's and Brad's children. Give people the opportunity to visually see your beauty through creative outlets. All people see when you spurt out useless facts about people that you don't know, is someone who has no self respect, or confidence in their own "going's on".

Rule #10: Common Sense should be worn like a pair of Marc Jacobs Sunglasses...With lots of pride, and class.


Rule #11: A Nice Pair of Shoes does not Mean You're a Shallow Person.
Instead, they are a reflection of your self respect, in the form of a material. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as you aren't relying on them to be the only catalyst for your personality.

Rule #12: All of the Above = Self Respect.
The most precious thing of all.

Ian Curtis, Walt Whitman, toilet paper, and Jesus - in less than 6 degrees of seperation.

Over 10 years ago, I read "Touching From a Distance" By Deborah Curtis, the wife of the late Ian Curtis, frontman of Joy Divison.

The book is about the demise of Ian Curtis. The lust for fame took him over, and destroyed his family. Ultimately he decided to kill himself.

He hung himself. He stood on a block of ice, and patiently waited for it to melt, as his neck was slowly suffocated by the rope.

Now that, my friend, is patience. We could all learn a lot from Ian Curtis - Besides the stupid fact that "Love Will Tear Us Apart", and clever ways to get some attention.

We can learn that we are all capable of making life altering decisions at the flick of a thought.. but, how many of us have the patience to live those decisions out?

Trust.. such a lost concept. Especially when it comes to making decisions.

And on that note - here's some poetry.

To a Stranger
by Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)

Passing stranger! you do not know
How longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking,
Or she I was seeking
(It comes to me as a dream)

I have somewhere surely
Lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other,
Fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

You grew up with me,
Were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become
not yours only nor left my body mine only,

You give me the pleasure of your eyes,
face, flesh as we pass,
You take of my beard, breast, hands,
in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Poetry is like toilet paper... necessary.

This poem has reaffirmed my giant leap of faith, just as I expect Walt Whitman's words are capable of doing. I have made my decision. Patience will shortly follow.

Ian Curtis sacraficed... and we worship him for it. Just like Jesus. If I learn anything from the two of them - it will be patience and trust.

Walt Whitman has taught me that poems don't have to rhyme... at all.

Toilet paper has kept me clean.

I am thankful for all of them.

An Open Letter to Dr. Schrödinger

Dear Mr. Schrödinger –

Probabilities occur all the time in life, because we almost never know everything we need to make a completely accurate prediction. For example, even when two people fall madly in love with each other, you cannot know ahead of time exactly if they will be able to sustain this feeling. Unfortunately, there can only be an estimated guess that feelings will remain.

This, I understand.

You state, that in quantum mechanics probabilities are different. They are not considered to result from our limited understanding of the universe, but to be fundamental.

So what you're saying is that quantum mechanics only describes how probabilities change with time? For example, if feelings have a 50% probability of decaying in one month, then in one day they will have only a slight chance of having decayed. After 10 months they will have a probability very close to one of having decayed?

So, are the feelings alive or dead?

My apologies, but I am going to side with Einstein and disagree. I am well aware that your theory has the power to predict the outcome of various experiments. But it cannot be the complete theory of nature.

Let us assume that there are two figures, and we will call them A and B (which might be two free particles), and their love for each other has been established. Then, if A and B interact for a short period of time, one can determine the love created which results after this interaction via the Schroedinger equation or some other Quantum Mechanical equation of state. Now, let us assume that A and B move far apart, so far apart that they can no longer be together. In other words, A and B have moved outside of each others life due to changes.

With this situation in mind, Einstein asked the question: what happens if B decides that they would like to re-establish communication with A to tell them that their love is still there? Say, for example, B realizes that their love for A bears no underlying condition, and that they love them solely for the letter that they are. Then, using the conservation of momentum and our knowledge of the system before their interaction, one can infer the amount of love that B has as well is still there too. Thus, by making a momentum measurement of A's love, one can also measure the same amount of love from B. Recall now that A and B are currently seperated, and thus they do not communicate regularly. This separation means that B must have this unconditional love not only in the instant after one makes a measurement at A, but also in the few moments before the measurement was made. If, on the other hand, it were the case that the measurement at A had somehow caused B to realize that there could be a way to communicate, then there would need to be a way for A to signal B and tell that the love was indeed still there. Yet, the two systems do not communicate in any way!

You are the scientist. I am not. But I do know that the love is not dead. Regardless, I thank you for your contribution to science.

Sincerely,Stacy